I have a RETIREMENT PROJECT. Shouted out loud with huge letters because it is EXCITING for me and hopefully for you.
Who wants to come along for the ride? Well …. let me not get ahead of myself.
During the last six months I have been setting up a membership area for my new ‘Wats-On My Mind’ project. Work, work and more work.
Now the promotion of the membership area begins and it is for a NEW audience(s) – so all of the social media work begins.
First of all I want to tell you story after story about why I am setting up this is setting about a retirement project being 70, years old.
I am 71 years this month – which must seem a strange time to start something new, – BUT of course just wait for the story …
In fact many of my life decisions have been weird – but fantastic stories…
Any regrets? – NO.
Made awful mistakes at times – but what a way to learn.
The strange thing for me writing a blog is actually wanting to say too much at once. As I am writing this – I am pulling back from stories today as I am trying to set out a structure and putting a plan in place.
So here it is – below is a basic plan of the areas I will cover if you follow my blog this month.
HEALTH – MENTAL AND PHYSICAL.
Health has has been my life. I trained as a nurse when I was 21. You will get background to how I moved from being a electronics engineer – through a temporary job and on to a starting out in a job that was predominantly women in those days. I loved being in a set of nursing recruits – 48 women and me and one other guy – hey the joy. Stories… well carefully selected stories
A confession though – I still admit that I never really learned how women think – even with that constant exposure. Men are from Mars, Women from Venus. Stories …
When I retired from nursing in 1996 – I set up a web design company. One of my clients was a guy called Adam Eason who is a hypnotherapist. Together we developed audio and video products, books and a training school. What a fabulous subject hypnosis is – BUT very often totally misunderstood. The shame is that so few people understand the power of the mind. There is total ignorance about the subject – Stories …
In fact, there are many stories about my introduction and growth on the internet. For eight years I was out in the Muscat, Oman helping to commission a new hospital. It was a University Hospital and while I was there I first came across the www – very basic but infancy of something very important.
I put up my first website about antiques in 1994. and been involved with 2500 websites since. Can you even imagine the changes over those years. Putting up my first website with a very slow modem over phones from the Middle East is the first of my Internet Stories…
PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET
Anyone wishing to run any sort of internet business needs help. It is impossible to know it all. Just keeping up with new developments is a full time job – without earning a penny. During the month I will introduce you to some of my mentors and professional experts. You will never get a recommendation from me about anyone suspect. There may be the odd affiliate link – but again that will be explained and I will have always used the service or know the person that I am recommending.
I will introduce you to some of my online mentors and friends.
I will introduce you to people that are mustard.
Let me give you an example – Paul Taubman
Paul is the man to turn to for WordPress Security. I came across Paul and this challenge through a marketing membership – so more about Paul, David and Jen and others another day – via stories.
MY RETIREMENT PROJECT – FROM PRODUCTS TO STREAMING MEMBERSHIP SERVICE
This is a time in life when I can really do what I want to do and not worry so much about the financial income, although income will be fine. But it’s more about doing something that is enjoyable and worthwhile.
The reason that I called my Blog ‘Wats-on My Mind’ is to introduce and educate as many as possible about controlling what goes on inside our heads. As a nurse I realised that people with positive approach to their illness or surgery responded so much better than those that worried and were anxious. My work with Adam reinforced that point.
I am not a hypnotherapist or Cognitive Behavioural Therapist – BUT I have recorded hours of videos and audios and have indeed used hypnosis sessions for my own personal issues. More stories…
OK – SO WHY THE STORIES THIS MONTH
My Secret Tip For Today.
If you have read yesterday’s blog you will see that I listen to podcasts every morning as I take my exercise walk.
This morning I listened to the 100th podcast recorded by a guy called Brandon Gaille. I have listened to them all and what an education – all for free. I feel I really know him though and that is the key point.
Here is a paragraph from his home page. In fact this below is an introduction to many stories that punctuate his podcast.
FROM BRAIN TUMOR TO 1 MILLION After a brain tumor left him physically and mentally disabled, Brandon overcame the odds to regain his health so that he could help his pregnant wife beat breast cancer. Three years later he launched his blog, BrandonGaille.com. Within four months, his blog had surpassed 100,000 monthly visitors. Less than two years after his first post, there were over 1 million business owners reading Brandon’s blog every month.
The thing is that the stories improve the relationship. I know and respect Brandon – and I have never met him.
MY SECRET EXPOSED
If you have found your way to the bottom of this blog post then you may be somebody I am looking for.
I am looking for affiliates for my evergreen hypnosis membership website. Affiliates care who they work with – rightly.
The most important issue for me is that anyone working with me – can understand me – trust me – know how I click and so on.
The stories I will tell you during October will help you get to know me – warts and all. I will also have to add some video as well. For you to comment and make contact – you will make my day.
Yes indeed, a fairly well-known UK hypnotherapist who markets her one-hour stop smoking programme actually also refers to the 1964 study by Von Dedenroth (conducted in 1964, published in American Journal of Clinical Hypnosis in 1968) who made these claims of a 94% success rate. She claims to have a ‘comparably high success rate’ and there are many others that use this study in their marketing literature if you google it.
Then Adam points out there have been several other bits of research since that have not been so convincing.
Then he points out:
However, however, however, all is not lost, oh no…
Racing to our rescue in the early 1990s, as featured in the New Scientist and referred to by many of us in the field, was published a study by Viswesvaran and Schmidt (1992) who had conducted a metaanalysis on 633 studies of smoking cessation which included a whopping 48 studies in the hypnosis category which they investigated.
This also had a total number of 6,020 participants. Which is impressive. Hypnosis did prove to be better and more effective than just about every other treatment it was compared to including nicotine replacement therapy and aversion techniques, yet still only really offering up a success rate far inferior to that of the Von Dedenroth 1968 study.
It is complex and there are other factors.
Our Stop Smoking Product Warning
In our Hypnosis For Download store we have a self-hypnosis product called ‘Stop Smoking Now’
But right at the top of the sales page we have the following copy:
Let me be honest with you.
Please please – do not buy this product if you REALLY DON’T want to give up smoking.
The straight forward truth is because it won’t work. So you might as well save the purchase price of this product and buy another pack of cigarettes instead.
Please don’t buy this as a gift for someone else if they don’t REALLY WANT to give up smoking.
The absolutely essential first step is to WANT TO GIVE UP SMOKING
Hypnosis will work if you want your behaviour, addiction or whatever to change.
Without the desire – well forget it.
I like to think of hypnosis as the ‘willpower assistant’.
Many people who have used hypnosis will say the same thing. “I don’t know how it worked – but it did.”
Now The Stop Smoking Story
I remember Adam telling this story to a class of his hypnotherapy students. Adam is a great story teller and this is not exactly word for word but the giso is there.
A man (who I will call John) came to see Adam at his practice to stop smoking. All the usual chats were done. John made it clear that somebody had suggested hypnosis – but he himself, didn’t believe it could work because he was sure nobody could hypnotise him.
Adam tried to give him examples of how we are all in a trance like state at times, reading a book or watching a film. Just think how absorbed you are and ignoring people around you. What about calling a child downstairs for lunch – when does play and imagination not interfere.
John and Adam agreed to give it all a go.
The hypnosis induction was done and Adam could see that John’s eyes were flickering and that there were breathing changes. In fact Adam knew that John was in hypnosis. The stop smoking script was provided and after 20 minutes it was time for 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and now you are back in your surroundings.
Well asked Adam “How was that”.
“No” says John, I can’t see that working. I could hear you but I wasn’t hypnotised.
Adam then suggested that John wait till the next session in a weeks time to discuss it again.
During the week John rang Adam to tell him that even though he had paid for the next session that was no problem. He wasn’t going to attend because he didn’t thing he could be hypnotised.
AND then came the funny bit.
John carried on by saying to Adam that he really didn’t need it now ANYWAY as he had manage to stop smoking all by himself. He pointed out that he didn’t know how that had happened but he clearly didn’t need hypnosis.
I love the title of this blog post written by Sarah Ban
I Tried Hypnosis for Insomnia. Then My Skin Cleared Up.
I don’t understand it, either, but I’m not complaining.
How often have I seen that.
So many people who have used hypnosis will say the same thing. “I don’t know how it worked – but it did.”
Adam Eason my hypnotherapist friend was amazed when he was treated for his psoriasis by a clinical hypnotherapist.
He was completely surprised by the effect on his skin as he had tried everything else prescribed.
That is in fact what led Adam to learn about hypnosis and start his hypnotherapy career.
Back to Sarah’s article…
The blog post by Sarah is well worth reading and she points out various studies and research in the field.
She finishes her blog post:
Whether or not I can explain how my skin got better, I’m pretty positive that my hypnosis sessions had something to do with it.
Whichever confounding variable was responsible for the clearer skin I saw after my hypnotherapy sessions (stress reduction, better sleep, placebo effect, or all of the above), I’m just thrilled to have seen results at all.
I was finally able to get my racing mind under control with the help of hypnosis. That meant I went from getting maybe two measly hours of sleep a night to a solid eight hours, which is a massive improvement for me. When I’m well-rested during the day, I’m more equipped to handle hectic situations, which means my stress levels are more under control, and I’m pretty sure that’s resulting in a newly clear complexion. My skin still breaks out when I’m frazzled, but it seems a lot happier overall. And so am I.
It is very easy to get wrong impressions about hypnosis. The showmen want to make it all look mystical and unreal.
I have videoed many courses where hypnotherapists were being trained. Many wonderful people with a real desire to help people with annoying behaviours, habits, addictions, pain, self-esteem and so on.
The problem for them especially in their early days is convincing many people out there who have very little knowledge about the therapy.
Ten years ago I was among those who knew very little about hypnosis.
Here are a few facts about hypnosis.
This is a difficult one for clinical hypnotherapists to deal with. The on stage guys are clever and use hypnosis and distraction techniques well.
The people selected to go on stage and take part are actually expecting an outcome. They are more prepared than they believe to respond and play the part.
The thing to realise is that they are willingly being led and are NOT really under the control of the hypnotist.
I personally love Derren Brown who actually calls himself a mentalist and illusionist. That is much better title although other people talk about him being a hypnotist. He often will show at the end of his performance how he has been misleading the audience. He will show video and you can see the clever language that is feeding the imaginations of those being manipulated.
Myths and Mystery and Bad Journalism
Oh dear I don’t know what to say about this one.
There are TV shows and humour “look into my eyes, look into my eyes” and all of that nonsense.
There are journalists who write for a living who are writing err … garbage!!
There are exceptions like Sarah Bar above who is giving a sensible researched article.
Firstly, the Telegraph, which you’d expect to have a more sober perspective on the story carries the headline: ‘Hypnotist thief puts shopkeeper in trance before robbing him’ The hypnosis article can be found here if you’d like to read it.
Before I do anything else, let me address the fact that the Telegraph uses the word ‘Trance’ in the title of their article and then assumes that trance and hypnosis are the same thing. They are not.
Hypnotism Is Not A Hypnotist/Hypnotherapist Taking Control
The problem, of course, lies in the way hypnosis is presented again and again by the media, having to explain to clients over and over that hypnosis is something THEY do sometimes feel like a losing battle.
Self-Hypnosis is a skill that can be learned by anyone. Yes it is a learned SKILL
To Take Control Issue Further – For My Christian Friends.
I wrote about this a long time ago in 2008 but I won’t send you to that post.
What I will do in fact is update that blog though as there are some new links to add.
Let Me Rant a Bit – Which Is Not My Usual Style …
(you will see that this post is rather sombre for me – but I so want you all to know more about the subject before criticising)
The usual thing is that people think they know about something without having ever studied the subject at all – they simply have an opinion based simply on intuition, gossip or whatever.
Several of my church friends have questioned my interest in what they describe as taking control of someones mind and over somebody’s thinking?
What? … WHAT?
I have videoed and sat through hundreds of hours of clinical hypnotherapy and cognitive bahavioural therapy training – AND it is NOT taking control of the clients mind.
If you think there is exasperation showing – you are right!
Let me bow out.
Really I am wise to leave this to somebody qualified to talk about it.
I am no fool.
Here is a YouTube video – well audio reallywith a ridiculously strange splash screen – about Hypnosis and Christianity. This is a video interview with Rev Dr Scot Giles. This is about his work using hypnosis with cancer patients.
The talk therapies offer help harmlessly. There is a lot of research about the effectiveness of many interventions – for example pain relief. The weakness is that there much more research needed.
So What About Psychiatry?
The very same people that object to hypnosis therapy WILL accept and endorse psychiatrists offering treatments and medication.
From my young nursing days back in the 60’s I had the horror of working with a team giving Electro-Convulsive Therapy (ECT). Notice my strong word horror. I could not believe what I was witnessing. I will say no more about that as it was a long time ago and I may exaggerate.
I was shocked (there’s a pun) when I found out recently that this therapy was in growing use again.
“The figures, obtained through freedom of information requests, show that despite being a crude, controversial treatment, which fell sharply out of favour around the turn of the millennium, ECT is enjoying a revival.
The procedure involves anaesthetising the patient and passing electricity through the brain to induce seizure. Despite ghoulish depictions in popular culture and a marked lack of science explaining how and why it works, treatments can prove effective. Patient stories range fromlife-changing benefits to tales of lives being ruined.”
Hypnotherapists are not wanting to get inside your head and control you. There intention is for their clients to learn the skills of focused imagination and suggesting to themselves the changes they want to make. That is my simple interpretation. Don’t let me tell you though. Better to learn directly from a hypnotherapy practitioner. I can put you in touch with the best.
What If Hypnotherapists Could Get To Control You?
I remember when I first met Adam, the guy who introduced me to hypnotherapy.
He was introducing his business in a breakfast BNI meeting. At each BNI meeting you were allowed 60 seconds to tell a story about your business. A bit like twitter really.
Adam was charismatic and I looked forward to his spot.
One of his minute stories was about hypnotherapists taking control of your mind.
Adam asked us “Why would I be standing up there at 7am to get some new business if I really could use magical hypnosis skills to control somebody? No! Surely I would simply make an appointment with my bank manager and get him to write me out a million pound cheque.
Of Course There Are So Many More Question – Another Day
There are so many other questions.
What does being hypnotised feel like?
Do I go to sleep?
Is it like being in the zone – like sportmen?
I really do want you to find out. So more to follow.
Here I am running two days late with my April blogging challenge.
I won’t go into excuse mode, enough to say yesterday and the day before were those sort of days. Should have stayed in bed.
Anyway – troubles sorted and back on track
I just have to CATCH UP.
It was MY decision to take the challenge. It was by choice and I am doing as much as I can to learn from the process and get my list building through blogging well under way. I want to do this and recognise the advantages.
Also My Son Tom Has A Challenge.
Also my son has been training for the London Marathon which is on 22nd April.
Tom is used to physical activity, surfing and climbing – but running is new and a challenge.
He signed up via a Stroke Charity which puts the pressure on.
He has had to train hard and has followed the regime suggested by the marathon organisers. He ran 22 miles last Sunday. The weather was not good and it would have been easy to let that one slip.
I have to be honest he has not really enjoyed the process – but the challenge and reward of raising the money has worked. I don’t think that he will choose to do it again.l But he will do this one and is aiming to do it in less than four hours.
Let’s Look At Motivation And What Is Going On.
There are three things going on when you undertake a project/challenge.
Activation – the decision to do something
Intensity – the amount of effort that goes into doing it.
Perseverance – How long you can keep up the effort
Achieving your goal requires all of the above.
Types of Motivation:
Arises inside of you. Like solving a puzzle just because you want to. YES – want to
Pros – Easy to maintain concentration. Will do it regardless of reward
Cons Can easily be subject to moods.
Comes from outside – eg solving a problem for money, recognition or praise from peers.
Pros – Easy to manufacture using rewards. Makes difficult tasks bearable.
Cons – Prone to procrastination.
How to Find Motivation
If ONLY it was possible for us to enjoy doing everything with intrinsic motivation.
Unfortunately tasks such as paperwork, chores and study often need willpower and rewards to get done.
If you’re feeling apathetic or keep procrastinating on a task, get MOTIVATED byeliminating the excuses.
Dreams get you started, discipline keeps you going
. Jim Rohn
How to get motivated
This stops you from the first step of motivation – starting an activity
1. You’re afraid of Failure
It’s a matter of perspective.
HOW TO FIX IT
Look at all the possible outcomes, including worst-case scenario.
If you fail, will it be really that bad?
If you don’t do the task, what will happen?
Think of the consequences.
This negative outcome should jumpstart you into getting motivated.
2. It’s Too Boring
If you lack the energy to do a task, you’re likely to use your motivation to indulge in something else – like watching TV
HOW TO FIX IT
Focus on the task instead of the time.
By looking at what you need to do, instead of how long it’ll take you, you’ll become more stimulated. With this approach, time should fly as you finish off the activity.
If this isn’t enough, track your progress towards a goal.
Focus on whatever is the smaller of the two: how much you’ve done against how much you have to do.
3. You Just Don’t Feel Like It.
Are you weighed down by an immense feeling of laziness? Then it is time to get organised.
HOW TO FIX IT
You can’t plan your moods, but you can plan your day.
Think about when you are most productive. If it’s early morning or late in the afternoon, then organize your day around this.
If you’re still feeling lazy, try the count down from 10, and start. Once you’re in the zone, you’re more likely to get things done.
4. You Are Too Tired
If you’re struggling to stay awake, then it will be impossible to be motivated.
HOW TO FIX IT
Take care of yourself physically as well as mentally.
Are you stressed out?
Take time to meditate and exercise.
How are your eating and sleeping patterns?
Don’t skip on meals or pull any all-nighters.
Listen to your body, and if you’re still fatigued, visit your doctor
Please feel free to contact me. Simply drop me an email and I will send you a Relaxation and Melt Stress self-hypnosis audio.
5. You Don’t Know Where To Start
Decision fatique affects everyone. The number of choices you make in a day is inversely related to your mental energy.
HOW TO FIX IT
Create A To Do List
Getting started can be the hardest part, but if you can see what needs doing from the get go, you’re onto a good start.
Include not only what you have to do, but what choices you have to make.
It’ll help you get your priorities in order and help you manage your brainpower usage.
6. You Have Too Much To Do
How can you put effort into something when you have so many other things to do?
HOW TO FIX IT
Get rid of any unnecessary commitments.
Every commitment you make uses up your finite willpower. Learn to say ‘no’ to things and simply focus on what’s truly important in life.
If it’s the sheer size of a task that’s overwhelming you, then divide and conquer.
Feel good about the small successes.
7. You Don’t See The Point
You’re faced with a mid-task crisis. Why I am doing this, exactly?
HOW TO FIX IT
Be clear on the end goal.
Know what you’re doing and why. If it is something boring or unpleasant, accept it is something you need to do to turn yourself into who you want to be.
Think of the future, successful version of yourself. What would that person do right now.
Willpower if like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the better you will be at using it. So stop reading and start doing.
There has been a lot of reporting today here in the UK all about a new sugar tax. It is on drinks that have a high level of sugar in them. For example a litre of Coca Cola will cost 24p (approx 30 cents).
Caroline Cerny from the Obesity Health Alliance of charities says that says “This alone won’t be enough to tackle rising obesity levels and that we need the government to take further action.
The reason for her comments is because of the alarming figures from our NHS. (This is all there data so of course this is UK related but please add comments below about your countries.)
Twice as many patients are admitted to hospital with problems related to obesity as four years ago.
Stop – and look at that again. What a rapid rate of change.
In 2016-17 about 617.000 hospital admissions were caused at least in part by obesity, up 18% in a year and NINE times higher than a decade ago.
STOP again. I am just ramming those figures in. They are shocking.
A total of 10.705 admissions were primarily the result of obesity, about two thirds of them for weight loss surgery. This is up from 3,800 a decade ago. The rest of the admissions were for conditions that obesity makes worse such as joint problems and heart attacks.
Obesity has been an issue for me – well since I was forty
I was looking this morning for a picture of me just before I was forty playing table tennis. I was on holiday and wearing only my shorts. I couldn’t find the picture unfortunately – (you are probably disappointed).
Up until that age I had no weight issue at all.
Suddenly An Issue
Then bang!! I put on weight.
I went through that period (well quite a few years) where I would use some latest faddy diet, lose weight and go through the yo-yo process over and over again.
I am currently about 12 stone but I got up to regularly 15 stone.
Here’s an old belt that shows the battle.
Here’s a picture that has been added to a wall in our home. I did not choose this picture and the detailed image below will show you why.
Here is the reason I would like this picture removed.
I was NOT happy with constant and continual up down of battling with this problem.
Diets were not the answer.
This photo is about eight years old.
I Was Fedup With My Weight – What Would Be Permanent?
At that time I was learning about hypnosis by working together with Adam Eason producing audios and videos about hypnotherapeutic techniques. Adam had in fact done a lot of face to face work as well as his producing his self-hypnosis products.
Not hard for me then to get to work on my weight problem.
The programme I used at the time was called ‘Think Yourself Thin’ and I set about using this set of audio products.
There were hypnosis sessions within the package but alongside that there were narrative files, workbooks etc.
I analysed everything and the situation was this.
There is one irrefutable fact – The amount of food / drinks / cals put into your body is measurable and if you put in more than your body needs to function for the physical you will put on weight.
Straight forward maths. NO use arguing – that is a fact.
I wrote a blog about boxer Anthony Joshua and I read last week about his diet. He consumes about 10,000 cals a day simply because he needs that much for the physical activity of boxing training.
Relate this to a car. The fuel tank is filled with petrol. Drive the car fast, crashing through the gears fast, and braking last minute and guess what the fuel runs out fast. Drive steadily and braking softly and the fuel will go further.
When I began to work through my eating issues and really wanted to find a solution – everything became obvious.
My Bad Behaviours Were:
Eating quickly – often when working and not stopping for the meal
Always eating everything and never leaving anything on my plate
If there was a seconds available – having them
Eating too many snacks between meals that were high in calories.
Drinking wine regularly during the week.
Bad behaviours are learned behaviours.
My worked out solution – ongoing.
So my formula was ok on one side – I was exercising a reasonable amount – but not enough to use all of the calories coming in.
I had to learn new behaviours and get them set – into a new mindset.
The solution was not with the food I was eating. That was actually ok apart from the amount of alcohol.
Here are the solutions that were right for me.
Eat slowly – you actually enjoy the tasting of the food longer AND you recognise faster that you are full
Learning to listen to my body – I realised when analysing things that I hated the feeling of being overfull. Avoid that.
Reduced size portions – that fits with the eating slowly. It takes longer to eat and you don’t feel as if it is a smaller amount
Leave food on the plate – and definitely not second portions.
In may case drinking only Friday evening till Sunday evening.
Avoid snacking between meals. Not hard when your mindset is reset.
Hypnosis sessions were all around getting this new mindset to make all of those behaviour changes. Hypnosis is focused imagination. You see yourself with a new approach. Quite simply it works.
Within a few days I was not even thinking about going to the fridge for a snack and so on.
I have really not changed anything in my diet. I am simply eating less and don’t even realise it.
Some eight years now in a controlled way.
What about you? You are the person that can change You – Your call.
This dear land of mine – Britain – this country came 19th in the new World Happiness Report. That’s about right. Any higher and we might have been embarrassed.
We here in Britain may hold the key to long-term happiness, according to Dr Seligman.
Now come on Doc.
He goes on… Our resilience in adversity suggests that, despite apperances, we are optimists.
More about that below.
Positive Psychology Father
So who is this guy?
Dr Martin Seligman is the father of Positive Psychology.
In 1998 when he was made president of the American Psychological Association (APA) he declared that psychologists needed to study what made happy people happy.
He noted “The most important thing, the most general thing I learned, was that psychology was half-baked, literally half-baked. We had baked the part about mental illness […] The other side’s unbaked, the side of strength, the side of what we’re good at.”
Studies since then by Seligman and other psychologists have explored the effects of positive emotions and the ways they affect health, performance and overall life satisfaction.
When Cameron Was Around:
Whitehall statisticians began happiness surveys on the instigation of former prime minister David Cameron in 2011, as he looked for other measures besides GDP to measure how the country was doing.
Why, Cameron asked, was Britain, like the rest of the developed world, so obsessed with Gross Domestic Product (GDP)? What did this cold, clinical measure of industrial output have to do with how happy or fulfilled anyone actually felt at any given time?
Why not measure GWB (General Well Being) instead?
He argued that, surely, that was more important to people.
Now Look at This – Subjectivity and Culture
These surveys depend on subjective self-reporting, not to mention eliding cultural differences.
In Japan there is a cultural bias against boasting of one’s good fortune, and in East Asia the most common response, by far, is to report one’s happiness as average.
In Scandinavia, meanwhile, there is immense societal pressure to tell everyone how happy you are, right up to the moment when you’re sticking your head in the oven.
Finland, Norway, Denmark and Iceland – in the top spots, suggesting that happiness is strongly correlated to having really good underfloor heating.
The United States ranked 14th in the report. Comments please you guys – you are ahead of the UK
The UK came in 19th, just above Chile, a poor performance until you factor in the possibility that Britons would have been ashamed to finish any higher – that breaking seven on a one to 10 overall happiness scale would be crowing. A 6.714 will do, thank you.
Carol Midgley wrote about this in the Times
The British Method For Being Happy – Keep Calm and Expect The Worse.
She says and I totally agree:
We have an inbuilt guard against unhappiness and it comprises three elements:
1)never saying what we mean.
2)never engaging in social confrontation
3)dourly expecting everything to be crap so that when it is you are never disappointed.
Brits hide their secret optimism via language namely in understatement.
“Mustn’t grumble” – means they are elated
“I’ve been worse, I suppose”, they are at death’s door.
Experience “not bad” we mean it is very good.
Meal “disappointing”, it’s quite possible three of the party died in agony from food poisoning.
Yes there is a British form of optimism: hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
Off to the pub for a therapeutic beer with my mates – now that is happiness.
Dan Gilbert – TED Talk – The Surprising Science Of Happiness
You need 22 minutes to watch this – but it is a great TED talk from 2004. Dan wrote the book Stumbling on Happiness. He argues that us human beings are forever wrong about predicting what will make us happy.