Memories Of Our Children

Memories Of Our Children

My Memory – What Premiership Football Match?

If football is not your thing –  please don’t let that stop you reading this as I think there is a really important message in this story.

On Sunday my wife Babs and I called round to see our son Tom and in fact our daughter in law Vanessa as they had just returned from there honeymoon.

One of the topics of conversation was Scott Parker who is now Manager of Bournemouth football club our local team.

Now this has never happened to me before and it totally took me by surprise.   Tom chipped in with something that I could not remember AT ALL.

He told me when he had first seen Scott Parker was at a football match that I had taken him to.  It was  a football match Southampton versus Charlton and Scott Parker had scored and fabulous goal.  The story went further, Tom told us that I had gone to the toilet and had missed the amazing goal scored by Scott Parker.

WHAT!!  I thought my memory was good – but this had really jolted me.

I just cold not remember ever taking Tom to a professional football match.

With the going to the loo story added I thought he was joking.

A few months ago I was with a friend at an Arsenal football match and I thought that it was a shame that I had never taken my son to a football match ever.

The problem was that Tom was a sports lad and played football and swam competitively.  So I was a constant taxi every weekend to his events – no time for being a spectator.

When we got home I asked Babs to look up in her diaries.   She has kept diaries throughout the years and are great for looking up anything we have got up to.

There it was Sunday December 7th 2003 I had taken Tom to Southampton versus Charlton.  He was 12 years old.

My Excuse!

In fact it was a very busy weekend for me because on Saturday evening I travelled up to London Airport leaving at 5pm to take my daughter Zoe to catch a Quantas plane to Australia.   She was only 15 years old and in those days there was a service for unaccompanied yougsters up to that age travelling on a long haul flight.  It was in fact excellent and from the moment we had arrived at the airport there was one of the stewardesses alloted to take care of Zoe.  Real VIP treatment for me as well as Zoe in the departure area.

We had worked in Muscat, Oman in the Middle East for eiqht years  and the expats working there were from all over the world.  One of Zoe’s school friends was Anna Deeley who was from Australia.

Great as working abroad was – there is a time to return.   All very well except that Zoe and Tom were not so keen to return as they knew very little about UK.  The truth is they were very upset by the huge change in lifestyle.    Zoe was 9 years old when we returned and she knew exactly how to stick the knife in.   She had a photo of here Muscat schoolmates right beside her bed and when I went in to say goodnight she would ask questions like “Dad when am I going to see my real friends again?”

How do you answer that?

Even in the early days of the internet Zoe was able to keep in touch with her former school friends which lead to her getting invited to go to Australia to stay with Anna’s family.

Nothing nicer, Christmas in sunny summer Ozzie with friends you were longing to be with.  Babs put in her diary that  Zoe was buzzing with excitement.

In fact – Zoe was still flying southward when Tom and I were at the football match,

So that is my defence – my mind was miles away!!   (ok – just a pun!)

I am assuming that we arranged the football match as something exciting for Tom as his sister was clearly over the moon.

I have to admit I still can not recall going to that football match.

There is one further thing that is worth comment.   Tom’s memory of the match was not totally accurate.  He thought that I had missed the only goal of the match.  In fact it was Southampton 3 and Charlton 2.

I have in fact now seen the goal that I missed going to the loo.

I Want To Know What Else I Have Forgotten

There are many times that I have thought – I wish that I had asked my parents more about my memories of the past.   I can’t now as they have passed.

What I now intend to do when we are talking among ourselves as a family is to ask the kids about their memories of their upbringing years.

I would like to know what else I have missed.

Want The Change? Then Change Your Mindset

Want The Change? Then Change Your Mindset

Bad Habit And Pills

Bad habit and pills – that sounds as if I have an awful tale to tell.

Let’s see!

Tablets and a bad habit are on my mind this morning.

Yesterday I went to get my repeat prescription for the barrow load of tablets I have to take.

BUT – there was an issue ( I still don’t understand what – but there you are) and the prescription needed to be set up again by my doctor and with luck and a strong wind they will be there by tomorrow.

So by rooting around in the medicine cabinet, I found I had got enough for this morning.

And then Goodness me – NO!….

We were out of  Yoghurt!!    Was this going to be one of those days?

Why was that a disaster – well years ago I had to get over something that for me was an issue. I just couldn’t swallow tablets – no matter how small.  A learned bad habit.

How crazy are we all?

Bad habit – it surely was. I could eat normally – but a tablet in my mouth was a gagging starter.

The time came though where I had to get over this problem.   I had got to get over this as my health depended on me ‘taking the pills’.

Porridge and yoghurt became the answer.   Within no time I was swallowing tablets easily as long as it was with a yoghurt or similar.

Today –  this morning – I had no yoghurt or porridge.

Question? – was the bad habit still there.

So I gave it a go – glass of water and what happened?

It was fine – there was no issue at all.    That is the first time I have tried to take tablets with water for many years.   Isn’t the mind weird but wonderful?

Now there is a really important thing here about making changes to your mindset.

Changing Bad Habits – It’s Hard

Conventional wisdom is that it takes 28 days to free yourself from a bad habit.

Unfortunately, that notion is just plain wrong.

Bad habits are hard to break because they are HABITS  (notice the capital letters).

Remember: your brain has put your bad habit in the “automatic” category. Once there, it’s difficult to shake it free.

Yes, 28 days can give you a good jump start.   It is probably longer and more like three months to substitute a new behaviour for a bad habit.

But I know from working with Hypnotherapist Adam Eason that behaviours and bad habits can be changed – helped by hypnosis or self-hypnosis.

NOTE:  The definition Bad – can be interpreted quite widely.

Laziness is a good example:   Let’s say that laziness is a bad habit or maybe poorly motivated is like a bad habit.  Then why not get a new mindset on that one.

One of our most popular products, in our online ‘hypnosis for downloads’ store is From Lazy to Driven

You Must Want To Change to Make New Good Habits

What ever you own personal issues (yes you have them) set about making the change –  “I am going to get rid of that bad habit”

That is the FIRST part of going about changing a bad habit – WANTING TO DO IT.

In Fact We Make That Point On A Sales PageOn the sales page for ‘Stop Smoking Now‘ – Adam asks the question – Do you really want to stop?  He then suggests that you should not purchase the product if you haven’t already decided that you want to do it.  Nothing will work until you have made that decision.

The arguments for stopping smoking are enormous and a smoker can be shown every reason to stop.  NO GOOD until the smoker has taken that first step. The first step is you making up your mind.

That is the same for all habits.

Want to make the change and self-hypnosis will totally help you change your mindset and adopt a new self image and new mindset that supports that inner feeling.

The greatest thing is that the change becomes the new normal good habit.    The change eventually becomes the new reality.

You can change AS LONG AS YOU WANT TO and change permanently.

Who Cares? – If Hypnosis Works – Use And Enjoy

Who Cares? – If Hypnosis Works – Use And Enjoy

My Hypnosis Introduction With a Professional Hypnotherapist

My introduction to hypnosis was accidental.   It was 2004 when I met Adam at the BNI business network meetings.

When you set yourself up to develop websites for clients one of the fascinating things is that you learn a lot about different businesses.    How do they work?     What makes them tick?

So that was the case with Adam Eason and his clinical hypnotherapy business.

I developed a website for Adam  who was working out of a clinic near Bournemouth.  To say I knew nothing then about hypnosis is a fact.   Nothing that is about clinical hypnosis.  Hmmm – But I had in the past seen stage acts – but that was all.

But here in front of me was a guy who was very passionate about his subject.

I was intrigued and wanted to discover more.

AND as far as I was concerned that was good …

Adam was training hypnotherapists and what we decided to do was to video the courses and also develop audio hypnosis products.  Front pew for me with the video camera.

How could I fail to learn all about hypnosis – when I was shooting the recordings and editing them.

In addition I also got to know other people who trained with Adam and are now themselves trained hypnotherapists.  Some of those have developed specialist areas – such as hypno-birthing.

When Hypnosis Works – The Seed Takes Roots

What is a common story from people who have moved into the field is that they had an issue that was driving them insane – all attempts to find a solution had failed.

Adam himself is an example of that.  All his attempts with medical consultations and ointment treatments for his psoriasis had failed.  Someone suggested hypnosis and do I need to say – within a couple of weeks all had cleared up.

Here is a blog where  audios of Adam telling you in his words his basic narration about hypnosis and what it is.

All his work is research based and  you can pursue that as far as you like with Adam as he has written a book called Science Of Self-Hypnosis.  Also his blog and podcasts are full of his professional approach to all of these psychological therapies.  You can even go and train in the field with him via his online courses.

AND NOW – Just Give It A Go And Learn Hypnosis Skills

OK – that all said – I am going to take a totally different approach right here with my retirement Wats-on My Mind project.

I am getting away from the academic theories and discussions about what hypnosis is etc.

I just so want you if you are sceptical about all of this power of the brain – to just give it a go and learn hypnosis skills.  You can learn more about the theory at a later stage.   I am keen that you go for a ride first.

Here on my blog you will get my:

simple real anecdotes approachmy end user approachmy simple language approachmy if it works that is great approachso what this good – approach.

For example:  If you ask me what hypnosis is – a typical reply from me would be – focused imagination.

The interesting thing is that people who try and get some release from a problem will want more.

A Freelance Artist Uses Hypnosis For Sleep AND !!!

This blog post which is well researched is by a freelance writer.  You can find the complete blog post at:

I love the title of this blog post written by Sarah BanI Tried Hypnosis for Insomnia. Then My Skin Cleared Up.   – I don’t understand it, either, but I’m not complaining.

How often have I seen and heard that?

So many people who have used hypnosis will say the same thing. “I don’t know how it worked – but it did.”

Surprise Yourself…

You are probably not a car mechanic or understand how it works but that doesn’t stop you driving a car.

In a similar way – you don’t have to fully understand how or why hypnosis works – just give it a proper try and surprise yourself.

Doing Something For The First Time

Doing Something For The First Time

My First Life Changing Moment

I am smiling to my self as I sit down to write this blog.

I was reading a blog by Mary O’Toole

Mary asks: When was the last time you did something for the first time?

I am smiling because when I think about my first times there were many of them and they all have countless stories with them.   So I am writing here about my first FIRST TIME

Thank Goodness For Malcolm

Isn’t it strange how very small events and random situations can change your life – permanently

I was 19 and working as an apprentice following a HND course in electronics engineering.  This was in a Marconi Research Unit in Chelmsford in 1966.  I had very little career advice from school or anywhere.  It was assumed by everyone (including my parents) that engineering was the future for me as Maths Pure, Maths Applied and Physics were my ‘A levels’.

And that is what I thought – I would become an engineering scientist.

So there was I with my oscilloscope, admittedly rather bored, as I worked on goodness knows what projects.  I looked at research scientists that had been there for years and began to wonder about this as a career.

AND then it happened…

A top scientist guru (I still remember his name – Malcolm) came in to work full of the joys of spring.  He had been working for about eight years on a new transmitting aerial.  His design had been accepted and the company were going ahead with production beyond his prototype.  His moment.  He was full of it.

Now let me tell you more about Malcolm.

We had heard a lot about his aerial.  Sitting down for lunch we would all talk about football, holidays, what was on the box, girlfriends.   None of that for Malcolm – apart from his aerial I really knew nothing about him.

What next?

Four of us apprentices were invited to go and see his work of art!  I wasn’t sure where this was but I should have taken note as Malcolm put on wellington boots, a hat and gloves.  Being 19 I had very little to shield me from the elements.  We were driven through the Essex countryside on a freezing cold winter morning and arrived at a field with a hanging fog.

What became immediately plain to us lads was that we were to go over the field and climb a mast that disappeared into the fog.

These days Health and Safety would just not allow what happened next.  With freezing cold hands, gripping on to freezing cold metal ladders we were to climb this mast.

We were all looking at each other in disbelief.

Did Malcolm notice?

Not at all.

Malcolm just kept on talking – ABOUT his aerial and what made it so good.

Anyway we all got up to the platform and there it was – his aerial – about the size of a dining room table.  Lots of fiddly bits and so on.

The tuition from Malcolm carried on “the frequency response of this ….blah blah blah ….attenuation ….. blah blah blah …. and the amplitude  ……  blah”

The words were drifting over me – in one ear out of the other.  I can totally recall that I stood there thinking about his wife.  What did he go home from work and talk about.  What did he talk about to anyone.

Something much more important had happened to me.

At that moment I realised that I would never be a top engineering scientist because I could not put that much passion and devotion into a LOAD OF METAL

That was it!!!

I put in my notice.

Then There Was My Dad

Now that sounds neat – but of course what was I going to do.  There was no plan B.

My dad was a very blunt Yorkshire man and life had not been good for him.  He didn’t come out of the war well and was not a well man.

To put it bluntly he was not imptressed with me leaving a course during the first year.

I got the “we tried to give you the best we could” talking to.

Along with – “what are you going to do now?”

My initial reaction was that I thought that teaching would fit me better but there was some time to wait before I could get on a teacher training course.

My Dad:  “What are you going to do till you start your teaching course?”

Me: “I will randomly select a job in the local paper and go for it”

Dad: “What?”  (a very exasperated huffy what)

And that is what I did.

I opened the jobs page, shut my eyes, wiggled my finger around and it landed on ‘Spastics Society House Father’  (Now called Scope). at Kelvedon Spastics Society Education Centre.

AND I got the job.

It was a further education place for severely disabled adult students who were exceptionally intelligent.   For example one of them was a political history expert who wrote for various papers.   He typed with a  pointer stick strapped to his head.

I was 20 years old and what an experience it was – the students were quickly my friends.  It was hard work and I lived in so I never really felt off duty.

What a difference it all was from the oscilloscopes and aerial developments at Marconi’s.

I really fitted in with the care work but I wasn’t trained .

Then I met a nurse and that really led to my next change moment in my life.

My future was beckoning.  I realised that I needed to train in nursing.

Thank you Malcolm for that day up the mast.

From Metal to Nursing.

Cancer Eight Years On!!

Cancer Eight Years On!!

Day Out In London With The Kids

The idea was quite simple. I had a journey up to London on the train which meant I was going to be travelling for 4 hours.

Perfect for writing a blog.

I write a blog on the train, by talking into Otter software programme that turns speech into text.

I hadn’t taken one thing into consideration.

I have to come up to London, every four weeks for my cancer treatment. And normally, the train is quite quiet.

What I’d forgotten, was that this is August,  the children are off school, andwith their parents are visiting museums, such as the science museum or Madame Tussauds or whatever holiday attractions.

So the train was full of very noisy, happy, elated, kids.

Question;  how was I going to type on my phone because talking into Otter software was not going to work.

So I did as best as I could, just by typing with my finger on the phone

That was yesterday, and finishing it off today.

Three Years Of Treatment And Not Wilting

What I’m writing about very briefly today is my cancer treatment.

I don’t write about it much, because there’s nothing to write. It’s three years now since I started having immunotherapy treatment, and eight years since the start of my cancer treatment, which started off with the removal of one of my kidneys.

This is important, please take note of the fact that I’m talking about eight years ago.

Unfortunately for me the type of cancer cells involved were papillaryl cells which were not good for the treatments available.

However, there was a clinical research, just about to start. For treatments for my type of cancer, and I was offered the opportunity to join that clinical research programme, which I accepted as there were no other options.

I was not offered a cure. The whole plan was to control any growth or spread of the tumour, which has been incredibly successful.

Of course it’s not great to have a cancer, and I have to learn to live with the fact, as do millions of other people. You have a one in two chance of getting a cancer.  Yes, fifty percent!

Every case of cancer is specific and different for every patient, and the treatments and severity vary.

The IMPORTANT thing to get on board, is that most cancers, as long as you catch them early enough, can be treated with the scientific advances of modern medical technologies.

I Am Old Enough And Wise Enough To Have An Opinion

As best as I can I have everything under control.

I have the treatment every four weeks and I have a scan every three months to see what is going on. I had a scan yesterday, and in a couple of weeks time, I will go and see the consultant and chat about the latest scan.

Apart from that, I can just get on with my life.  If you’ve been reading my blogs you will know I’m looking forward to getting a motorhome.

This is my philosophy and I am old enough at 73 years of age to have an opinion or two.

Life is for living, every single day.

In fact, the most important thing you can do as far as I’m concerned, is stay positive. In my nursing days, I found that the people that thought negatively tended not to react to treatment, very well; whereas those that were positive, by and large, had recovered quickly and moved on. Just move on in life.

Oncology Department Newbies

OK – it is hard for the mind when you first hear that your diagnosis is a cancer.   If you or someone you know is entering the Oncology department for the first time there are inevitably some anxieties and apprehension.

I hope these two  blogs that I wrote three years ago when I was new to it all will  give you some encouragment.

Cancer Screening Not Keeping Track With Cures

Explosion and Shock in my Cancer Treatment

Public Thank You and Moving On

On the whole you will find that everyone is very supportive.  And the oncology nurses and doctors involved are incredible.

I admit though that I got concerned when the clinical research nurse that had been my support during the earliest days  of my treatment, was moved away from the department to help elsewhere in the hospital during the pandemic.  Anna had got to know me so well and had been the person to deal with all my questions and concerns.

However, what happened. The replacement nurse, Heather was also a gem.  Keep the faith.

I wish there was something I could do to reward them for their incredible help and support. I suppose that this blog is really a thank you.

Well – until I write about cancer again in three years time – I will move on and enjoy my life and have fun with my wife Babs, family and friends.

Quite Pointless And Sad Passing!

Quite Pointless And Sad Passing!

It is not often you will find me deadly serious but I am today.  I am on my soap box.

My career was nursing and there are a couple of things that make me get my megahorn out.

Prevention so much better than trying to cure – vaccinations etc.  (remember Wakefield and all his nonsense about Measles jab)

Early diagnosis – don’t live with your worries about a lump, rash or whatever – get it seen early

So why my post about this today?  

Eighteen months ago there was no cure for covid.  

In fact in my personal situation my oncology consultant told me I was highly vulnerable and the really important thing was not to catch it.  All the distancing, staying home and so on.


Here we are 18 months later with an effective vaccine and better chances for anyone that gets this deadly and I mean DEADLY virus – which has not gone away.

Most of the people I know are now double jabbed and it means I have at last been able to get out of my shell.  

Some of the people I know have not been vaccinated – and I am giving them a wide berth.  What are they thinking?  

This blog is for them.

OK – So what happens when these clever scientists are elated with the initial take up of the vaccine – they are delighted of course.

BUT then out of the shadows comes social media nonsense – whatever you like to call them…

So Easy To Have Stopped This Happening

I decided to write this blog because I know the family of Leslie Lawrenson are urging everyone to get the vaccine so that their families don’t  experience the same thing.

There are stories like this everywhere now but this one was in the Bournemouth Echo and the quotes are from the family.

anti-vaxxer dies at 58

Leslie was a 58 year old solicitor.   

Yes – please take that in.

Here is  Stepdaughter Carla’s 35 thoughts

“He was a really well educated who ended up in the rabbit hole about the vaccine. thinking that if he got the virus he would be ok.”“I go through emotions feeling sad and frustrated.  There’s so much out there, it’s easy to get wrapped up in conspiracy theories, the anti-vaxxers game is strong.”“He was just convinced natural anitbodies could fight this and said that the vaccine was not fully approved.”“My mum would talk to him about it, everything she would say he would have a counter argument for, she was scared to have it and scared to not have it.”“If you are on the fence, sit down and look at what has happened to my family.”“My 11 year old brother now doesn’t have a dad anymore.  Our life is not going to be the same as it was six weeks ago, it’s completely different.”

Thanks Jennifer Anniston – Well Said

Thankfully there are more and more people talking sensibly.

One of my acting favourites is Jennifer Anniston.  There is she believes a “moral obligation” to do so and “we have to care more about more than just ourselves.””There’s a large group of people that are antivaxers or just don’t listen to facts.” she tells ‘InStyle’ magazine.  “It’s a real shame.”

Well said Jen.

AND thumbs up to, of all people, Arnold Schwarzenegger who recently said on Twitter: “Know your strengths and listen to the experts.

Please STOP And Think And Look At Real Scientific Facts

To complete I want to add my condolences to the Lawrenson family.

I hope, like you Carla, that somebody reading this will just stop and think NOW and take a simple action  before it is too late for their families also.