Somebody – a legal somebody – has written this – and you have read it.  You ticked a box when you signed up to say you have read and agree with all of their Terms of Service

This is a smidgeon of the PayPal Terms of Service picked just now totally at random from the pages and pages of this stuff.

4.3 Risk of Reversals, Chargebacks and Claims. The receipt of a payment into your PayPal Account does not equate to the receipt of cleared funds. A notification that E-money has been sent to you, does not amount to a receipt of E-money in your Account unless you have accepted the payment. You acknowledge and agree that a payment transaction is completed and received by you even if it becomes subject to a Reversal, Chargeback. Claim, Reserve or hold. When you receive a payment, you are liable to PayPal for the full amount of the payment plus any Fees if the payment is later invalidated for any reason. In addition to any other liability, if there is a Reversal, or if you lose a Chargeback or Claim and you are not entitled to a payment under the Seller Protection Programme, you will owe PayPal an amount equal to the Reversal, Chargeback or Claim and our Fees per Schedule 1 (including a Chargeback Fee if applicable) and PayPal will debit your Balance to recover such an amount. If a sender of a payment files a Chargeback, the credit card company, not PayPal, will determine who wins the Chargeback. You can find out more about Chargebacks by reviewing our Chargeback Guide, accessible via the PayPal Security Centre and the section called: “Selling Safely”. The PayPal Security Centre is accessed via the PayPal website.

Now – Be Truthful.

Did you just read that?  If so did you understand it.

Let’s give you a chance with a smaller piece as most terms are barely comprehensible.

This is also from PayPals 23,000 words.

If your PayPal payment funded by a Special Funding Source is rescinded (including, without limitation, Reversed) at a later time for any reason, PayPal will keep the amount that represents the portion of that PayPal payment that was funded by your Special Funding Source and (provided that the Special Funding Source has not already expired) reinstate the Special Funding Source.

What? !!

I can feel sorry for people who have menial and low paid jobs – but – I can also feel even more sorry for souls who are intelligent and well paid legal experts having to sit and write this sort of meaningless English.

My favourites for gibberishness is Apple.  The iTunes website means that you need many hours to read their 23,000 words.

HSBC have 36,000 words that their customers have signed and said they have read the Terms and Conditions – YES we believe that happens.

If the average Briton wanted to read the small print of every website they visit in a typical year, it would take 124 days according to an analysis by The Times.

I must admit I have spared the cost of employing a legal expert to draw up a costly wording to go on our sales pages.  This may be damned by the powers that be – but I say that I am doing our customers a favour.  I sell what I produce and hope to be paid in return – on the whole we get away with it.