Memories Of Our Children

Memories Of Our Children

My Memory - What Premiership Football Match?

If football is not your thing -  please don't let that stop you reading this as I think there is a really important message in this story.

On Sunday my wife Babs and I called round to see our son Tom and in fact our daughter in law Vanessa as they had just returned from there honeymoon.

One of the topics of conversation was Scott Parker who is now Manager of Bournemouth football club our local team.

Now this has never happened to me before and it totally took me by surprise.   Tom chipped in with something that I could not remember AT ALL.  

He told me when he had first seen Scott Parker was at a football match that I had taken him to.  It was  a football match Southampton versus Charlton and Scott Parker had scored and fabulous goal.  The story went further, Tom told us that I had gone to the toilet and had missed the amazing goal scored by Scott Parker.

WHAT!!  I thought my memory was good - but this had really jolted me.

I just cold not remember ever taking Tom to a professional football match.

With the going to the loo story added I thought he was joking.

A few months ago I was with a friend at an Arsenal football match and I thought that it was a shame that I had never taken my son to a football match ever.

The problem was that Tom was a sports lad and played football and swam competitively.  So I was a constant taxi every weekend to his events - no time for being a spectator.

When we got home I asked Babs to look up in her diaries.   She has kept diaries throughout the years and are great for looking up anything we have got up to.

There it was Sunday December 7th 2003 I had taken Tom to Southampton versus Charlton.  He was 12 years old.    

My Excuse!

In fact it was a very busy weekend for me because on Saturday evening I travelled up to London Airport leaving at 5pm to take my daughter Zoe to catch a Quantas plane to Australia.   She was only 15 years old and in those days there was a service for unaccompanied yougsters up to that age travelling on a long haul flight.  It was in fact excellent and from the moment we had arrived at the airport there was one of the stewardesses alloted to take care of Zoe.  Real VIP treatment for me as well as Zoe in the departure area.

We had worked in Muscat, Oman in the Middle East for eiqht years  and the expats working there were from all over the world.  One of Zoe's school friends was Anna Deeley who was from Australia.  

Great as working abroad was - there is a time to return.   All very well except that Zoe and Tom were not so keen to return as they knew very little about UK.  The truth is they were very upset by the huge change in lifestyle.    Zoe was 9 years old when we returned and she knew exactly how to stick the knife in.   She had a photo of here Muscat schoolmates right beside her bed and when I went in to say goodnight she would ask questions like "Dad when am I going to see my real friends again?"

How do you answer that?

Even in the early days of the internet Zoe was able to keep in touch with her former school friends which lead to her getting invited to go to Australia to stay with Anna's family.

Nothing nicer, Christmas in sunny summer Ozzie with friends you were longing to be with.  Babs put in her diary that  Zoe was buzzing with excitement.

In fact - Zoe was still flying southward when Tom and I were at the football match,

So that is my defence - my mind was miles away!!   (ok - just a pun!)

I am assuming that we arranged the football match as something exciting for Tom as his sister was clearly over the moon.

I have to admit I still can not recall going to that football match.

There is one further thing that is worth comment.   Tom's memory of the match was not totally accurate.  He thought that I had missed the only goal of the match.  In fact it was Southampton 3 and Charlton 2.    

I have in fact now seen the goal that I missed going to the loo.  
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CZksTLDTUo4

I Want To Know What Else I Have Forgotten

There are many times that I have thought - I wish that I had asked my parents more about my memories of the past.   I can't now as they have passed.

What I now intend to do when we are talking among ourselves as a family is to ask the kids about their memories of their upbringing years.  

I would like to know what else I have missed.

Memory – Remembering Names

Memory – Remembering Names

How good are you at remembering names?  

I have to admit I am rubbish at it BUT there is a reason.  

The great thing is that it is easy to rectify - my mate, the hypnotherapist Adam Eason tells me so.

It is courteous to remember names.
It is good manners and it shows that they are important enough for you to remember who they are.

So why I am so bad at such an important thing?

If I look at the rest of my memory it is good. 

I can remember the details of physics that I learned at school.  I am also learning new material all the time in the web development field.  AND it is on board.

The reason they are there is that I was engaged and wanted to remember them.  

 The classic key ingredient is attention and awareness.  

I am not attentive enough when I meet people.

Simple Process -Be More Attentive When Meeting People 

The main reason why someone forgets another person's name, is  because they weren't paying attention when they were introduced,

They have failed to file information in a memorable enough way to store it in their long term memory bank.

Remedy:  When you meet someone new, repeat their name back to them. If you can do it without feeling embarrassed ask how they spell it. Use the name, again, as soon as you can repeat it once more. especially when you say goodbye to that person.

Outcome: Get good at this and their name will be stored permanently in your memories database. 

Losing Possessions

I actually have overcome this problem by follow this advice I got.

Here comes attention again as the problem.

People lose personal items such as their keys, spectacles or pen, because they weren't paying attention when they put them down.

Cure: Create a special place to create items you've misplaced regularly. Make it a logical place, and visualize it every time you come in to and go out of your home and office. 

Even if you didn't take your keys out with you. check to make sure they are still there.

Another Name Issue

It took me several years getting roung to the Netflix drama "Breaking Bad" but during the last three months I got completely into the series.   

How many episodes are there?   Well over 50.

Last weekend I was telling a friend about the series and he asked who starred in it.

Ummm!!!   

Frankly I hadn't a clue.

That shocked me!!   

I wanted to say Walter White, Jesse Pinkman and Skyler White.  

I have since found out that they were Bryan Cranston,  Aaron Paul and Anna Gunn

Even Though I Am In My Seventies I Can Be More Attentive To The Back Story 

Blogging offers some solutions here.

In this blog challenge I have written about a few celebrities and sportsman.   

I have not done that in the past as my blogs were personal stories..   

However writing about celebrities and sportsmen means I have to learn more about the individuals that are in the story.

Yesterday it was Simone Bisley and her special bronze peformance.   Doing my research for the blog had the interest, attention and awareness to not only know the name in future, but also a memory dump of interesting data.

Audios In Hypnosis For Download

In my Hypnosis For Download online store there are a couple of Memory Improvement and Enhancement audio products recorded by Hypnotherapist Adam Eason.

Memory Enhancement

Memory Improvement System

Memories Of A Headteachers Daughter And Her Wiggly Bum

Some years ago now in my profile on Ecademy (internet business networking site) I wrote this:

EARLY YEARS

Primary School, St Andrews, Halstead, Essex. Apologies to Jennifer (headmasters daughter) for sticking your plaits in the ink well so that it swung like a pendulum painting arcs on your shirt.

Earls Colne Grammar School All boys school, but I met my first girlfriend at that school – the headmasters daughter (what is this with headmasters daughters?)

Memories fascinate me and I really enjoy the discussions about the way our subconscious minds affect all we do, that take place on Adam Eason’s Members Forum.

I will expand on the story about Jennifer because any memory that can stay so vividly portrayed in my memory must have affected me over the years – the question that fascinates me is – How?
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