If football is not your thing – please don’t let that stop you reading this as I think there is a really important message in this story.
On Sunday my wife Babs and I called round to see our son Tom and in fact our daughter in law Vanessa as they had just returned from there honeymoon.
One of the topics of conversation was Scott Parker who is now Manager of Bournemouth football club our local team.
Now this has never happened to me before and it totally took me by surprise. Tom chipped in with something that I could not remember AT ALL.
He told me when he had first seen Scott Parker was at a football match that I had taken him to. It was a football match Southampton versus Charlton and Scott Parker had scored and fabulous goal. The story went further, Tom told us that I had gone to the toilet and had missed the amazing goal scored by Scott Parker.
WHAT!! I thought my memory was good – but this had really jolted me.
I just cold not remember ever taking Tom to a professional football match.
With the going to the loo story added I thought he was joking.
A few months ago I was with a friend at an Arsenal football match and I thought that it was a shame that I had never taken my son to a football match ever.
The problem was that Tom was a sports lad and played football and swam competitively. So I was a constant taxi every weekend to his events – no time for being a spectator.
When we got home I asked Babs to look up in her diaries. She has kept diaries throughout the years and are great for looking up anything we have got up to.
There it was Sunday December 7th 2003 I had taken Tom to Southampton versus Charlton. He was 12 years old.
In fact it was a very busy weekend for me because on Saturday evening I travelled up to London Airport leaving at 5pm to take my daughter Zoe to catch a Quantas plane to Australia. She was only 15 years old and in those days there was a service for unaccompanied yougsters up to that age travelling on a long haul flight. It was in fact excellent and from the moment we had arrived at the airport there was one of the stewardesses alloted to take care of Zoe. Real VIP treatment for me as well as Zoe in the departure area.
We had worked in Muscat, Oman in the Middle East for eiqht years and the expats working there were from all over the world. One of Zoe’s school friends was Anna Deeley who was from Australia.
Great as working abroad was – there is a time to return. All very well except that Zoe and Tom were not so keen to return as they knew very little about UK. The truth is they were very upset by the huge change in lifestyle. Zoe was 9 years old when we returned and she knew exactly how to stick the knife in. She had a photo of here Muscat schoolmates right beside her bed and when I went in to say goodnight she would ask questions like “Dad when am I going to see my real friends again?”
How do you answer that?
Even in the early days of the internet Zoe was able to keep in touch with her former school friends which lead to her getting invited to go to Australia to stay with Anna’s family.
Nothing nicer, Christmas in sunny summer Ozzie with friends you were longing to be with. Babs put in her diary that Zoe was buzzing with excitement.
In fact – Zoe was still flying southward when Tom and I were at the football match,
So that is my defence – my mind was miles away!! (ok – just a pun!)
I am assuming that we arranged the football match as something exciting for Tom as his sister was clearly over the moon.
I have to admit I still can not recall going to that football match.
There is one further thing that is worth comment. Tom’s memory of the match was not totally accurate. He thought that I had missed the only goal of the match. In fact it was Southampton 3 and Charlton 2.
Bad habit and pills – that sounds as if I have an awful tale to tell.
Tablets and a bad habit are on my mind this morning.
Yesterday I went to get my repeat prescription for the barrow load of tablets I have to take.
BUT – there was an issue ( I still don’t understand what – but there you are) and the prescription needed to be set up again by my doctor and with luck and a strong wind they will be there by tomorrow.
So by rooting around in the medicine cabinet, I found I had got enough for this morning.
And then Goodness me – NO!….
We were out of Yoghurt!! Was this going to be one of those days?
Why was that a disaster – well years ago I had to get over something that for me was an issue. I just couldn’t swallow tablets – no matter how small. A learned bad habit.
How crazy are we all?
Bad habit – it surely was. I could eat normally – but a tablet in my mouth was a gagging starter.
The time came though where I had to get over this problem. I had got to get over this as my health depended on me ‘taking the pills’.
Porridge and yoghurt became the answer. Within no time I was swallowing tablets easily as long as it was with a yoghurt or similar.
Today – this morning – I had no yoghurt or porridge.
Question? – was the bad habit still there.
So I gave it a go – glass of water and what happened?
It was fine – there was no issue at all. That is the first time I have tried to take tablets with water for many years. Isn’t the mind weird but wonderful?
Now there is a really important thing here about making changes to your mindset.
Changing Bad Habits – It’s Hard
Conventional wisdom is that it takes 28 days to free yourself from a bad habit.
Unfortunately, that notion is just plain wrong.
Bad habits are hard to break because they are HABITS (notice the capital letters).
Remember: your brain has put your bad habit in the “automatic” category. Once there, it’s difficult to shake it free.
Yes, 28 days can give you a good jump start. It is probably longer and more like three months to substitute a new behaviour for a bad habit.
But I know from working with Hypnotherapist Adam Eason that behaviours and bad habits can be changed – helped by hypnosis or self-hypnosis.
NOTE: The definition Bad – can be interpreted quite widely.
Laziness is a good example: Let’s say that laziness is a bad habit or maybe poorly motivated is like a bad habit. Then why not get a new mindset on that one.
One of our most popular products, in our online ‘hypnosis for downloads’ store is From Lazy to Driven
You Must Want To Change to Make New Good Habits
What ever you own personal issues (yes you have them) set about making the change – “I am going to get rid of that bad habit”
That is the FIRST part of going about changing a bad habit – WANTING TO DO IT.
In Fact We Make That Point On A Sales PageOn the sales page for ‘Stop Smoking Now‘ – Adam asks the question – Do you really want to stop? He then suggests that you should not purchase the product if you haven’t already decided that you want to do it. Nothing will work until you have made that decision.
The arguments for stopping smoking are enormous and a smoker can be shown every reason to stop. NO GOOD until the smoker has taken that first step. The first step is you making up your mind.
That is the same for all habits.
Want to make the change and self-hypnosis will totally help you change your mindset and adopt a new self image and new mindset that supports that inner feeling.
The greatest thing is that the change becomes the new normal good habit. The change eventually becomes the new reality.
You can change AS LONG AS YOU WANT TO and change permanently.
My Hypnosis Introduction With a Professional Hypnotherapist
My introduction to hypnosis was accidental. It was 2004 when I met Adam at the BNI business network meetings.
When you set yourself up to develop websites for clients one of the fascinating things is that you learn a lot about different businesses. How do they work? What makes them tick?
So that was the case with Adam Eason and his clinical hypnotherapy business.
I developed a website for Adam who was working out of a clinic near Bournemouth. To say I knew nothing then about hypnosis is a fact. Nothing that is about clinical hypnosis. Hmmm – But I had in the past seen stage acts – but that was all.
But here in front of me was a guy who was very passionate about his subject.
I was intrigued and wanted to discover more.
AND as far as I was concerned that was good …
Adam was training hypnotherapists and what we decided to do was to video the courses and also develop audio hypnosis products. Front pew for me with the video camera.
How could I fail to learn all about hypnosis – when I was shooting the recordings and editing them.
In addition I also got to know other people who trained with Adam and are now themselves trained hypnotherapists. Some of those have developed specialist areas – such as hypno-birthing.
When Hypnosis Works – The Seed Takes Roots
What is a common story from people who have moved into the field is that they had an issue that was driving them insane – all attempts to find a solution had failed.
Adam himself is an example of that. All his attempts with medical consultations and ointment treatments for his psoriasis had failed. Someone suggested hypnosis and do I need to say – within a couple of weeks all had cleared up.
All his work is research based and you can pursue that as far as you like with Adam as he has written a book called Science Of Self-Hypnosis. Also his blog and podcasts are full of his professional approach to all of these psychological therapies. You can even go and train in the field with him via his online courses.
AND NOW – Just Give It A Go And Learn Hypnosis Skills
OK – that all said – I am going to take a totally different approach right here with my retirement Wats-on My Mind project.
I am getting away from the academic theories and discussions about what hypnosis is etc.
I just so want you if you are sceptical about all of this power of the brain – to just give it a go and learn hypnosis skills. You can learn more about the theory at a later stage. I am keen that you go for a ride first.
Here on my blog you will get my:
simple real anecdotes approachmy end user approachmy simple language approachmy if it works that is great approachso what this good – approach.
For example: If you ask me what hypnosis is – a typical reply from me would be – focused imagination.
The interesting thing is that people who try and get some release from a problem will want more.
A Freelance Artist Uses Hypnosis For Sleep AND !!!
Mary asks: When was the last time you did something for the first time?
I am smiling because when I think about my first times there were many of them and they all have countless stories with them. So I am writing here about my first FIRST TIME
Thank Goodness For Malcolm
Isn’t it strange how very small events and random situations can change your life – permanently
I was 19 and working as an apprentice following a HND course in electronics engineering. This was in a Marconi Research Unit in Chelmsford in 1966. I had very little career advice from school or anywhere. It was assumed by everyone (including my parents) that engineering was the future for me as Maths Pure, Maths Applied and Physics were my ‘A levels’.
And that is what I thought – I would become an engineering scientist.
So there was I with my oscilloscope, admittedly rather bored, as I worked on goodness knows what projects. I looked at research scientists that had been there for years and began to wonder about this as a career.
AND then it happened…
A top scientist guru (I still remember his name – Malcolm) came in to work full of the joys of spring. He had been working for about eight years on a new transmitting aerial. His design had been accepted and the company were going ahead with production beyond his prototype. His moment. He was full of it.
Now let me tell you more about Malcolm.
We had heard a lot about his aerial. Sitting down for lunch we would all talk about football, holidays, what was on the box, girlfriends. None of that for Malcolm – apart from his aerial I really knew nothing about him.
Four of us apprentices were invited to go and see his work of art! I wasn’t sure where this was but I should have taken note as Malcolm put on wellington boots, a hat and gloves. Being 19 I had very little to shield me from the elements. We were driven through the Essex countryside on a freezing cold winter morning and arrived at a field with a hanging fog.
What became immediately plain to us lads was that we were to go over the field and climb a mast that disappeared into the fog.
These days Health and Safety would just not allow what happened next. With freezing cold hands, gripping on to freezing cold metal ladders we were to climb this mast.
We were all looking at each other in disbelief.
Did Malcolm notice?
Not at all.
Malcolm just kept on talking – ABOUT his aerial and what made it so good.
Anyway we all got up to the platform and there it was – his aerial – about the size of a dining room table. Lots of fiddly bits and so on.
The tuition from Malcolm carried on “the frequency response of this ….blah blah blah ….attenuation ….. blah blah blah …. and the amplitude …… blah”
The words were drifting over me – in one ear out of the other. I can totally recall that I stood there thinking about his wife. What did he go home from work and talk about. What did he talk about to anyone.
Something much more important had happened to me.
At that moment I realised that I would never be a top engineering scientist because I could not put that much passion and devotion into a LOAD OF METAL
That was it!!!
I put in my notice.
Then There Was My Dad
Now that sounds neat – but of course what was I going to do. There was no plan B.
My dad was a very blunt Yorkshire man and life had not been good for him. He didn’t come out of the war well and was not a well man.
To put it bluntly he was not imptressed with me leaving a course during the first year.
I got the “we tried to give you the best we could” talking to.
Along with – “what are you going to do now?”
My initial reaction was that I thought that teaching would fit me better but there was some time to wait before I could get on a teacher training course.
My Dad: “What are you going to do till you start your teaching course?”
Me: “I will randomly select a job in the local paper and go for it”
Dad: “What?” (a very exasperated huffy what)
And that is what I did.
I opened the jobs page, shut my eyes, wiggled my finger around and it landed on ‘Spastics Society House Father’ (Now called Scope). at Kelvedon Spastics Society Education Centre.
AND I got the job.
It was a further education place for severely disabled adult students who were exceptionally intelligent. For example one of them was a political history expert who wrote for various papers. He typed with a pointer stick strapped to his head.
I was 20 years old and what an experience it was – the students were quickly my friends. It was hard work and I lived in so I never really felt off duty.
What a difference it all was from the oscilloscopes and aerial developments at Marconi’s.
I really fitted in with the care work but I wasn’t trained .
Then I met a nurse and that really led to my next change moment in my life.
My future was beckoning. I realised that I needed to train in nursing.
The premiership football season began this weekend, and it didn’t start well for me.
If you are football, baseball, netball anywhateverball fan you will be right into what your club is up to.
Football has a special place in the hearts of many people. It is an iconic sport that has been around for decades. From the elation of victory, to the frustration of defeat, football fans have felt it all.
Being a fan can be a very painful experience as I can reveal in this story.
Why a Gunners Fan?
Why am I an Arsenal (‘Gunners’) fan.
Well my son Tom is behind that… as I was originally a Middlesbrough supporter.
My father was from Middlesbrough in Yorkshire but I was brought up in the south of the country.
The only football matches I saw in my youth, were the occassional opportunities when Middlesbrough came to play a southern club.
I was basically a Middlesbrough fan, and I followed what they got up to and so on.
On the other hand.
Tom my son, for some unknown reason, I really don’t know why, Is a Manchester United fan – let’s just call them a top club.
Now neither myself or Tom are into betting so I was surprised whenTom suggested this. “Let’s have a small bet each season: First bet would be which of our teams came highest in the Premiership and another about who would go furthest in the FA Cup”.
Hang on!! Man United versus MIddlesbrough. Not a goer. However. I liked the idea. So I needed to get a top team to become an adopted fan
I had to pick a team that would stand a chance against Man Utd
Well I had lived in North London, and I had always liked the way that Arsenal played when they were managed by Arsene Wenger.
So that was that an adopted fan.
Back in 2008 Tom and I started our yearly bet at the start of the new season the amazingly small bet of just £10
BUT small as the bet is it adds a funny but competitive edge to the season.
Some years Tom would win the Premiership and I would win the FA Cup. Sometimes me, sometime him but for the last couple of years he has won both bets.
First Match Of The Season Against Promoted Brentford!
Arsenal has not settled down with a new manager since Arsene Wenger left in 2018
The latest manager is Mikel Arteta who played under Arsene Wenger. Wenger had an attacking approach and changed attitudes towards nutrition, fitness and coaching methods.
Last season Arsenal only finished at position 8. Not at all accceptable BUT it was manager Arteta’s first season in charge.
Arteta has just started his second season as the manager so I was really hoping that the first match of the season would get us going.
My Gunners season ticket holder friend Derek, had his doubts. Here was his WhatApp message to me just before the match “What are your thoughts on tonights game? I am worried we will be embarrassed”
So why the concern?
Arsenal was playing Brentford who won promotion last season and this was their first premiership game. They had not been in the top level of football since May 1947.
Now as I have revealed above I am merely in the adopted fan league. If you want too see fans and born and bred loyalty fans check out Brendford.
Fans have been known to go through the emotional rollercoaster with their favorite teams.
Football fans are passionate about this sport and will not let anything get in their way when it comes to supporting their teams no matter what happens.
The atmosphere at the Brentford home ground with the fans allowed in for the first time after the pandemic lockdown was electric.
The crowd was cheering, singing, clapping,waving and one old man was on the TV with tears running down his face.
The Brentford team was up for it and it pains me to tell you any more. Arsenal were playing in a cauldron.
Final Score: Brentford 2 – Arsenal 0
Derek sent a WhatsApp after the match…
What about my Tom’s team?
You’ve probably guessed it: Man United 5 – Leeds 1
Great start – however there are another 37 games this season – so get them going Arteta.